I recently found my first gray hairs. I didn't panic like I thought I would. Instead, I calmly assessed the situation and reviewed all of my options.
First, I could simply do nothing. My hair will turn gray over time, and it will either make me look more mature or more like a fat Q-tip. Only time will tell.
Second, I could dye my hair. But that then leads to a lifelong struggle against gray hairs, as well as a lifelong lie. I don't think I have the energy to spend on that.
So I took my third and last option:
I grew my hair out into what can only be described as a Conan O'Brien hairdo.
My hair is now extremely long. I just had it cut, but I got the mullet cut: 5 on top, 3 on the sides, and don't touch the back, Jack!
I've gone ahead and taken a mug shot to save the police the trouble, because when people see me walking down the street with my new 'do, I'm going to cause all kinds of traffic accidents. Mostly because drivers won't be able to see over my head.
Keep in mind that I'm not using any gel or hair products at all. My hair just naturally stands up straight like this (after brushing it nonstop for five minutes).
Now, be honest: are any of you looking for gray hairs? No! You're looking at my massive head of hair!
And that's how you hide gray hair, kiddoes: in plain sight.
The Existential Terror of Battle Royale
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