The economy is still in the dumps, so Betty and I decided to start pinching pennies.
I sifted through my kids' piggy banks until I came across a nice, shiny penny. Then I tried to pinch it.
But where to pinch a penny? It's not like Abraham Lincoln's rump is on the backside of the coin. Believe me, I looked.
So I decided to take a different approach: I'd pinch a real Penny. I found a girl named Penny that worked at JC Penny's, then tricked her into helping me gather Larges and XL garish sweaters that I had no intention of buying. When she bent over to pick up a sweater that I purposefully knocked off the rack, I pinched her.
When I came home, nursing a bruised face and ego, Betty was cutting coupons.
"What are you doing wasting time doing that?" I asked through the one side of my face that still worked. "We're supposed to be pinching pennies!"
"I am!" she said, happily (as always). "I'm saving money by cutting out these coupons. I also went to the library to listen to the woman who runs the My Baton Rouge Mommy site speak about how to save money. Now we're all signed up for LivingSocial, Groupon and Bargain Bee. Plus I downloaded CardStar for our iPhones so that I'll always have our discount cards handy."
"Oh," I said. "Well while you were doing all of that, I pinched Pennies today."
The Existential Terror of Battle Royale
1 month ago