Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Safety First

I've thought of a couple of safety ideas for car manufacturers, that I'm giving away free. All that I ask is that one of these ideas become known as "The Bob."

First, we have technology that will stop a car from starting if the driver fails a breathalyzer test. That's fine and all, but why don't we have cars that won't start unless the driver is wearing a seat belt? That sounds like a no brainer.

My wife's van can tell if something is in the passenger seat, and while it can't tell if it's a person or not, it knows whether or not to arm the passenger-side air bag based on the weight in the seat. (By the way, small children should not ride in the passenger seat, because the air bag can severely injure them.) So we obviously have the technology to make seat belts mandatory.

My second idea is to make car engines that can't go past 70. If 70 if the speed limit in most areas, why even have cars that can go higher? Speed limit signs could wirelessly transmit the speed limits as they change, causing your car to slow down or allow to be sped up.

Think of all the money that could be saved by not having to deploy cops on the side of the Interstate every five miles to catch speeders, or the money that could be spent on better things than paying for cops and ambulances to go assist some a-hole going 30 miles over the speed limit who crashed on the side of the road.

Cars could have an emergency override in case the driver needs to go past 70. Let's say someone is injured, or a woman is pregnant, etc - push the button and override your car's speed limit. But that could also alert the cops, who could assist the driver in getting to wherever he or she needs to go.

My last idea is a "green" idea. It's to make car seats that have toilets built into them, and the refuge that goes down the toilet can help fuel the car.

Long trip with the kids? No problem! No more stopping every hour to let them pee. Just fuel your own car with the help of a 64 oz Big Gulp!

If any of these ideas get implemented, I'm sure it would be the last one, and I'm sure it would be called "The Bob." But so be it! Or if I were pitching The Bob, I'd say, "So pee it!"

No comments: