I've come up with a grand villainous scheme: to update my birthday as the current date, every day, on Facebook.
Every day when someone logs into Facebook, they will see that it's my birthday, and they will be tempted to wish me happy birthday. Sure, some people will realize that I'm either a giant ass or that I just age very rapidly. But some other people will repeatedly wish me a happy birthday, every day, for the rest of my life.
Maybe I'll even get some presents or a card out of it.
I have no idea why I am doing this, what satisfaction I will gain from this, or what my end goals are. I guess I'm just bored.
And an attention whore.
But as far as you know, it's really my birthday, so I'd really appreciate it if you called me and sang the birthday song to me, or maybe even take me out for lunch.
Thanks in advance for all the birthday wishes!
To Serve Man, with Software
5 months ago