Monday, April 25, 2011

Cake Balls

Betty mentioned in passing that she wanted to make some cake balls.

My wife is a master cake decorator, and so I assumed that she needed cake balls to indicate that one of her cakes was a male cake. I also assumed this was for a bachelorette party.

I wanted to surprise her by helping her make some cake balls. Then I thought - why stop at cake balls? Why not make a cake dong as well? I mean, what good are the berries if there's no twig?

Of course, that got me thinking... if there was a male cake (with cake balls just hanging out) then that probably also meant that there is a female cake somewhere. And we also must assume at this point that the female cake's junk is also exposed for the world to see.

Slutty cakes. The best kind!

I experimented with several ways of making balls, dongs and hoo-hoos for cakes, but I got my best results using fondant.

Warning, the image linked below is not for children, should not be viewed at work, and is not for people who are easily offended at culinary masterpieces shaped like genitals. Also, do not look at this picture if you are a sex addict or just really like sweets.

Click here to see my finished product.

Needless to say, Betty was disgusted. She then explained that the cake balls she was talking about were actual balls of cake. As in, cake scooped into ball shapes and mixed with cream cheese or something, and not, as I supposed, genitalia made out of fondant.

I was sad that I had failed to make Betty happy with my cake wank. However, when I attached the dong and balls to a cupcake, it suddenly became the most popular cupcake in the room.

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