My dad's family had a reunion this past weekend. If you don't know what happens at one of my dad's family reunions, please take a minute to read this.
(If you prefer the cliff notes, I'll sum it up for you: eating, dancing and unibrows.)
We noticed this reunion that most of the kids in the youngest generation don't have the olive complexions and dark hair that are key components of our Lebanese heritage. Instead, the youngest generation have blond hair and blue eyes - like my son, Peter. Our Lebanese gene pool has been diluted!
To make up for a lack of Lebanese-ish qualities, we started teaching the kids all the bad words that we know in Arabic. For example, "zabada" means "wiener." Knowing is half the battle!
The night before the reunion, my cousins' band, Mageez, had a CD release party. It was a lot of fun, but I had way too much to drink.
Also, note to self: never snort blow off a strange girls naked body in the men's bathroom at a bar during a CD release party. I didn't do that, but it's a good note to self anyway.
As a consequence of going to the Mageez CD release party, the following things happened:
1. We went to Raising Cane's at 3 in the morning. Who knew they were even open that early / late? Even though we were inebriated, we still remembered to get "no slaw, extra toast."
2. Once we got back to my parents' house at 3 am, my mom's fridge didn't have anything on it - which is weird because she always has pictures of the family - so I covered the fridge with a bunch of pictures of me from high school. I also found a picture of my sister with huge bangs that I plan on using as blackmail sometime in the near future.
3. I woke up two hours late for my reunion.
It was OK though, because apparently a lot of other people who had gone to the Mageez show were also late. And hung over. And still singing tunes from the party.
I'm so happy that I got to see my family from all over the continental United States! I also noticed that us Tanorys only live on the perimeter of the US - we're in Louisiana, Texas, California, Washington State, Washington DC, Virginia and Minnesota. None of us live in the interior. We have some cousins that live in Alabama, but it touches the Gulf so we'll count it as being on the perimeter. It must be in our Lebanese blood to live by the ocean.
I also noticed that, between all 100+ people who showed up, we only had 4 giant eyebrows between us all. Even the kids had unibrows! So at least we still have that.
Opah! Can't wait to see everyone again in a few years!
Hacker, Hack Thyself
2 months ago