Friday is Cow Appreciation Day at Chic-fil-a, or what I refer to as "Dress Like a Cow Day." If you dress up like a cow, you get a free meal. If you "chicken out" (see what I did there???) and just wear some cow-rific accessories, they'll give you a free entree.
Betty took the kids to Lafayette for the day so when I got home I had a long To Do list and all afternoon to finish it. It wasn't all bad - one of the items was "Find cow outfit for Dress Like a Cow Day." Easy enough!
Except, it wasn't. I can't find my cow outfit. I'm seriously like a bull in a China shop right now. I'm going berserk, and tearing the house up looking for it. My cow outfit is not just any $15 Halloween outfit that I got at Wal-mart - it's an extension of myself. I've worn that thing everywhere: to DZ sorority parties back in my glorious college days, to New Orleans where I wear another shirt over my cow outfit and flash my udders at old people and foreigners for laughs... I've even worn it to work a few times.
In college I took an animal psychology class. Don't laugh, it was one of the most interesting classes I've ever taken. And on Halloween, I wore my cow outfit to class. It was hilarious. Then I walked around campus for another three hours until someone from the Reveille (LSU's daily newspaper) noticed me and took a picture.
I'm an attention whore. And the cow outfit is my pimp.
I've done everything else on my To Do list: I've child-proofed the entertainment center, got the present for my nephew's birthday party, finished my book (it was #5 on my To Do list), took care of some bills, unloaded the dishwasher, took out the trash, ate dinner (that was #10 on my list), picked up the Slip N Slide from the back yard, pulled weeds...
(Funny side story about pulling weeds. I was wearing some old soccer shorts from ten years ago, and the elastic is just completely gone from them. So every time I bent over to pick weeds, my shorts fell to my ankles. No lie! Thankfully we have a fence, as otherwise my neighbors would have seen me in my undies, and I usually reserve that for the morning when I walk out to get the newspaper in just my tighty whities and my open, flowing robe.)
All that's left is to find my cow outfit!
Wait - that's not true! I still have to do item #8: Play Fable III for Xbox in my underwear.
I guess I'll just have to print out one of Chic-fil-a's Cow Parts documents, cut it out, and tape it to myself tomorrow. The Great Search for the Cow Outfit will have to wait another day.
Hacker, Hack Thyself
2 weeks ago