Saturday, October 29, 2011

Social Engineering Not Actual Engineering, Says Engineering Group

The United Engineering Curriculum Group (EUCG), a team dedicated to determining which curriculum should be made available to engineering students throughout the entire country, has determined that Social Engineering - the art of manipulating people into performing actions or divulging confidential information - is not real engineering.

In his verbal diatribe against the nomenclature of Social Engineering at the group's annual Harvest mixer with the Polymer Science Ladies Flag Football team, EUCG President Todd Phelps lashed out at all fields of study and work that are associated with engineering and other fields, but which are themselves not actually related.

"We all know that Social Engineering is more prevalent today due to the use of technology," Phelps was overheard saying to two Polymer Science teammates dressed as pumpkins for the themed party.  "First, 'Computer Programming' becomes known as 'Computer Science.'  I mean, come on, science is done with beakers and chemicals.  I don't know of any computer programmer that says, 'Let's see, today I think I'll test my hypothesis that x does in fact equal the length of the text in field 'txtFirstName.'"

Despite losing one of the ladies' attention, Phelps continued.  "Software Architects?  What, is building a framework on which to build actual code upon the same as determining the materials to use in actual construction of a building, determining the length of each materials and then drawing them up on a cool blue sheet of paper?  No!  They're not architects!  They're just extremely gifted and talented computer programmers who understand patterns and best practices enough that entire teams of other, lesser developers will end up using their code as a basis for all other modules in the system.  It's that simple, people!"

Even when the last Polymer Science listener left to make out with Jeff Edmunds, EUCG's Treasurer, Phelps could still be heard talking to himself, poking the air with his hands to make his points stand out more.  "Tree views?  Are you serious?  First off, those aren't trees... they're folders!  Second, the security term 'Threat Landscape' doesn't involve an actual landscape.  It's all a logical construct of entry points, workflow to exploit and module nodes to possibly infect.  Last, Social Engineering should just be called Marketing, am I right people?  Hey, where'd everybody go?"

Phelps was voted out as EUCG President by the Computer Engineering lobby at the after party, as Computer Science is regularly the minor of Computer Engineering majors.

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