Sunday, November 27, 2011

Sexy Christmas Songs

Thanksgiving is over, so once you drop the extra 5 pounds you put on over the holiday, you'll be back to your fighting shape and ready to curl up next to the fireplace and make sweet, sweet romantic overtures towards your little honey (but will probably be rejected).  To help set the mood, here are 5 classic Christmas songs that I'm retitling to be more of an adult persuasion.

Jingle Balls
Yeah, I know, this one was easy.  You can pretty much take anything with Bells or Halls in it (I'm looking at you, Deck the Halls) and turn it into "balls."  But in order to set the mood correctly, consider wrapping your package with bells so your lady-friend can hear some nice ringing when she punches you in the nuts when you give her "yourself" instead of jewelry.

Frosty the Blow Man
For those out there who are into that kind of thing.

It's the Most Wonderful Time in my Pants
See what I did there? I changed "of the year" to "in my pants," in case you didn't catch that.  It's a lot funnier if you sing it out loud.  Go ahead, try it!

Your Body is a Winter Wonderland
You can either retool the original classic, or you can insert the word "Winter" into John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland."  Either way, this will either get you some lovin' from your honey, or you will fail miserably and will spend the night alone on the couch or even outside.  Remember, folks:  high risk equals high rewards.

Here Comes Santa Claus (original name)
I didn't change anything with this song title.  It's funny enough as it is.

I hope you've enjoyed this list of romantic Christmas songs.  Enjoy making up your own!  If you feel the need, please leave a comment with your own titles.

No comments: