We recently got the Elf on a Shelf, which we've heard is super fun and also extremely effective at keeping your children on their best behavior during the holiday season. If you don't know what the Elf on a Shelf is, it's basically a toy elf that you put in different places each morning so that your kids think it's moving around and watching them, reporting their every move to Santa. There's a book that goes along with it that explains why the elf can't talk to the kids, why the kids shouldn't touch it, etc. It's really cute.
Unfortunately, my daughter, Annie, is too smart for her own good. She's having none of it.
When it was time for bed, Annie asked if she could bring the elf - whom she named Clyde - to bed with her. She's already got around 50 books in her bed as well as 20 stuffed animals, so she just assumed that she could bring Clyde to bed with her, too. But if she did that then we couldn't put Clyde in a new and exciting place for her to find in the morning. So when we told her no, at which point she screamed and cried.
"WHY!?!?!" she screamed. It was really sad. "OH WHY???"
We hugged her and tried to console her. "Clyde has to go back to Santa's workshop tonight, baby," we told her. "He has to tell Santa what a good girl you've been."
That would make any three and a half year-old happy, right?
Her response: "But he's just a toy!"
We've placed Clyde on our mantle for Annie to find in the morning. She will either laugh and think it's hilarious... she'll be noncommittal, because after all, he's "just a toy"... or she'll rage and froth like the Tasmanian devil, practically climb up the wall and/or throw things at Clyde to knock him down, and then try to take him to school with her.
And who knows, Betty and I might even get a stern fussin' from her about not playing with her toy. We might even make Santa's naughty list this year!
The Existential Terror of Battle Royale
1 month ago