Wednesday, January 04, 2012

The Curse of Playing LSU in a Bowl Game

Woe to all those Alabama fans: there's a curse for any team that plays LSU in a bowl game, win or lose.

Let's take a look at the facts, shall we?

Peach Bowl - Dec. 29, 2005. LSU destroys Miami, 40-3. In response to their team's poor showing, Miami fires four assistant coaches, causing Miami to suck for years to come. The following year, defensive tackle Bryan Pata was unfortunately shot and killed, several Miami players were suspended for a brawl, and Miami ended up playing Nevada in the MPC Computer Bowl (oh the humanity!). Recently, a Miami booster named Nevin Shapiro was busted for a Ponzi scheme where he used investor funds as donations to former players, resulting in 4 major NCAA violations.

Sugar Bowl - Jan. 3, 2007. LSU destroys Notre Dame, 41-14. Notre Dame reacts by firing several assistant coaches. (Sensing a theme here?) The next season, Notre Dames goes 3-9. Head coach Charlie Weiss is eventually fired. Notre Dame's football program has still not recovered to its former glory days. Recently, Daniel Ruettiger, the basis of the inspirational sports movie "Rudy," paid the Security and Exchange Commission $382,866 to settle a lawsuit claiming that he has scammed customers of an energy drink he was peddling.

BCS Title Game - Jan. 7, 2008. LSU beats Ohio State, 38-24 in the BCS Championship Game. Recently, Jim Tressel resigned as head coach amidst an NCAA investigation into him covering up the fact that some players were receiving impermissible benefits. Ohio State has been hit with a one-year bowl ban and the loss of nine football scholarships, and had to forfeit their entire 2010 season as well as their 2011 Sugar Bowl victory over Arkansas due to the violations. Also, Jim Tressel always looked ridiculous in his silly red vests.

Chik-Fil-A Bowl - Dec. 31, 2008. LSU destroys Georgie Tech, 38-3. I don't think Georgie Tech fired any of their coaches or had any terrible mishaps since then, but I did minimal research on them because, after all, it's Georgia Tech.

Capital One Bowl - Jan. 1, 2010. LSU loses to Penn State, 17-19. I had to work that day, but still wore my purple and gold golf pants to the office, because that's how I roll. Despite the fact that Penn State beat LSU, recently Joe Paterno has been fired for not doing more to stop assistant coach / pedophile Jerry Sandusky from "Sanduskying" children in the university's showers. Penn State president Graham Spanier was fired, and I just read that a secret memo outlining how the university plans on ripping off donors has been publicized, which is outraging donors. To top it all off, Joe Paterno's son states that JoePa has lung cancer. Penn State's reputation is basically tarnished forever.

Jan. 7, 2011 - Cotton Bowl. LSU destroys Texas A&M, 41-24. As a result, Texas A&M joins the SEC so that it can have its ass handed to them every year by the LSU Fighting Tigers.

So, to all of you Alabama fans out there... you should not be hoping that you'll beat LSU. (I don't think you will, but I think it will be a great game. It's always hard to beat the same team twice, especially with a coach as talented as Saban.) What you should be hoping for is that, win or lose, you somehow avoid the Curse of Playing LSU in a Bowl Game.

No comments: