Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Most Inappropriately Named Stadium

There are some terrifically awful stadium names out there.

This is to be expected when the naming rights to stadiums are sold to businesses. That's when you get something ridiculous, like Papa John's Cardinal Stadium or Taco Bell Arena.

By the way, I heard that Taco Bell Arena is filled with Grade E talent.

We Louisiana folk got lucky in the fact that the Superdome is the Mercedez-Benz Superdome. No, seriously. It could have been the Tampax Tampons Superdome. (The Superdome: It's Super Absorbant!) We have no idea what it would have been named had not one of the most glorious vehicle manufacturers in the world decided to not buy the naming rights to it.

While good stadium names are hard to come by nowadays, I think I've found the worst:

Jack F. Rhodes Memorial Stadium in Katy, TX.

My apologies to Jack F. Rhodes and his descendents, but his name (said ten times fast) sounds pornographic.

In Jack F. Rhodes Stadium's defense, it's an amazing facility. All the high schools in Katy have their own stadiums, but that's where their junior varsity teams play. The varsity teams play at Jack F. Rhodes Stadium.

I knew that Texas loved its high school football, but I had no idea how crazy they were about it until I went to Jack F. Rhodes stadium to see our cousin play in the band at halftime a few months ago. Rhodes stadium was built using taxpayer money, has two huge screens at either end of the field (which even show instant replay), and fits thousands of raving lunatic Texas high school football fans.

There are several concession stands on each side of the stadium, multiple places to buy shirts and other things of that nature, and friendly event staff always willing to help.

They even had hot chocolate when we went. I mean, it could possibly be the greatest high school football stadium in America (besides Allen Eagle Stadium, of course).

But none of that stops me from saying Jack F. Rhodes ten times fast at least once a day. I can't help it. It's an amazing name for any type of building, but the fact that high school kids play there just makes me laugh.

Jack F. Rhodes. Jack F. Rhodes. JackFRhodes!

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