Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Wisdom of the Ages

The suggestion has been around for years but nobody takes it to heart: write what you know. I have truly embraced the ideal of writing what I know, which is why my blog is about absolutely nothing. It's like a blog form of Seinfeld, only without the laughs, audience or cash flow. Hmm... then maybe it's more like Mind of Mencia. Damn!

Another suggestion that I have tried to live by is to "Live Like You Are Dying." I have made it a practice to routinely roam the highways, hospital parking lots and Wal-Marts in an open hospital gown and holding an IV drip, begging for money. I figure that if I were dying then I'd probably desparately need money to pay bills, and would stop caring about how I looked or acted because of severe pain and anguish. Try it out on your own time!

If you need to gather life experiences in order to have something to write about, here is a homework assignment for you: print your own Subway Sandwich Consultant business cards and try to sell your services to the local Sandwich Artist union. Write the resulting blog in the form of a cost-benefit analysis of switching from white, wheat and italian breads to rye, pita and hot dog buns.

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