Thursday, June 29, 2006

DC, Day 2: Hillary Clinton and Other Sewage in the Capitol

Today we took a "Duck Boat" tour, where we rode an amphibious vehicle that brought us around town and over the Potomac River. We saw many new sites, and some old ones, such as the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court was in session, and there were several protesters outside. I grabbed my "End Road Work" sign, and Betty grabbed her "Get a Brains, Morans" sign, and together we shouted insults and threats at the passerbys. We also made quacking sounds with our souvenir Duck whistles. Our friend Shelliqua was with us, and after protesting for several seconds, we got hungry and went to lunch.

We ate at Kelly's Irish Pub, where I had Shephard's Pie. I felt really bad eating a shephard, but I figure everyone's gotta go sometime. They might as well feed me.

Next we took our tour of the Capitol. Did you know that our nation's Capitol is spelled with an "O" and not an "A?" We had to go to Sen. Vitter's office in order to meet up with our tour group, which consisted of just us and our tour guide. We knew some of the people in Vitter's office, and we got the scoop on how the interns from Vitter's office hate the interns from Landrieu's office. I suggested a bipartisan jello fight b/w the opposing female interns, but apparently that has already occurred. We were a week late.

The Capitol was pretty awesome. We saw the Senators voting on the Oman Free Trade Agreement, or OFTA in laymen's terms. We got to see Vitter, Landrieu, McCain, Franken-Kerry, Clinton (who looked pregnant, but I'm pretty sure she's a lesbian, so maybe she was just bloated), Obama, Lott, and Elizabeth Dole. We also saw where someone tried to assassinate Andrew Jackson, and where Jackson subsequently beat and killed the attacker with his cane. DC has a lot of history.

On our way out of the Capitol, we noticed a disgusting odor that curled our nose hairs. It turned out to be sewage leaking out of one of the Capitol walls. Apparently, with all the flooding that DC has had over the past week, the water pressure is too weak to drain all the sewage, so there is now more crap in the Capitol than usual.

Tonight we're going to The Matchbox in Chinatown, where we will sample some of the best pizza in DC. We may even buy a fake Rolex or two if we're lucky. I need some souvenirs for the gang at work.

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