Saturday, June 10, 2006

Just Say No and Maybe Some Other Words, by Bobby

In middle school we had the D.A.R.E. program (D.A.R.E. to Keep Kids Off Drugs). This program taught kids to "Just Say No!"

But is just saying no enough? I mean, if someone asks you if you want to do some drugs, and you say no, does that mean that you can't partake in the drug-fueled orgy afterwards? That kinda blows.

Speaking of blow, what about Ibuprofen? Is that okay? I'm not really clear on what we're saying no to.

If we're saying NO! to hardcore drugs like crack, coke, heroine and skittles, then that's okay. But I think there's a better way of teaching our kids that drugs are bad, mmkay? Just consider D.A.R.E.'s latest anti-drug method: the D.A.R.E. Dance. I think this dance might actually be turning kids towards drugs.

Not to say that D.A.R.E. isn't doing something constructive and positive... my life has certainly been affected by them. In the 6th grade, a police officer came to my class to tell us a story about how a cracked-out druggie was shot 10 times and still manged to kill the cop's partner. I think that did more to change my attitude toward drugs than any dance (with exception of The Macarena).

And the worst drug, as everybody knows, is tobacco. No single drug or item has been made to be an extension of the devil more than cigarettes. Most people aren't stupid enough to smoke in public anymore, thanks to public campaigns at enciting violence towards smokers. Maybe we should forget about the D.A.R.E. Dance and just have our children start to throw rocks and sticks at meth heads.

In conclusion, the next time you get a headache, maybe you should just tough it out instead of grabbing for your Tylenol, druggie!


URFager said...

We need drugs in our society.

Ever hear of Penicillin?

Remember that 45 year old senroita in San Juan? I think you're still scatchin'.....

Bobby said...

I'm not sure if that is completely true - I hear that wallaby milk is 100 times stronger that penicillin. I'm actually looking into 'wallaby husbandry' as my next career move.