Thursday, July 13, 2006

Materazzi Admits Insult to Zidane

Zidane's glorious career as international superstar and captain of the French World Cup team came to an infamous end in the 2006 World Cup final, by headbutting Italian player Marco Materazzi in the chest in the closing minutes of the second overtime.

In a press conference on Thursday, Materazzi admitted the insult he slung at Zidane. Materazzi said that, in a moment of passion in the World Cup final, he uttered these words at Zidane:

"The Tanory Tantrum blows almost as bad as your mother!"

Zidane, whose mother is sick, is also one of the Tantrum's biggest fans. The double insult "shook [Zidane's] soul," said Zidane, who was again angered after hearing the phrase come out of Materazzi's mouth. Zidane disclosed that, while the latest entries have not been as good, the Tantrum's earlier stuff made him wet his pants, and on one occasion he wet someone else's pants, shoes and shirt.

Materazzi admitted that Zidane's headbutt was justified.

"I know I should not have insulted his mother," Materazzi said. "But I really do think the Tanory Tantrum is terrible. I mean, have you seen that guy's mustache? He looks like Mussolini's gay brother."

The Tanory Tantrum responded to Materazzi's comments by headbutting a life-sized picture of Materazzi, after first drawing a handlebar mustache on the picture and dressing it up as the Test Lead of his work's latest multi-million dollar project. The head blogger then gave the picture a red card.

Another press conference is scheduled for tomorrow, where Zidane is scheduled to publicly announce the IPO for his new venture, Zidane's Headbutt Helmets (Les Casques de Headbutt de Zidane).


URFager said...

Have you ever noticed that it's always the mother that get's the insults. Everyone knows the father will headbutt them to death if it's directed at us. Go figure!

Bobby said...

You make a good point... that is very true. That could make a good thesis for my doctorate. "Why Insulting the Feminine Brings Out the Masculine, or, 1,000 'Yo Mama Jokes' in Order of Hilarity."