Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Continental Congress

I'm tired of hearing about the "Indian Subcontinent." It's time we upgraded India to be its own continent.

For one thing, they have friggin 1.2 billion people. I think once you cross the 1 billion person mark, you should get your own continent. When China reaches 2 billion, we'll treat them like a monopoly and force them to create Baby Bells.

So what are continents? If we can't agree of what a friggin continent is, then we're in trouble. Well, "continent" is opposite of "incontinent." Maybe it would be better to start off with the definition of a subcontinent, then work our way up.

A subcontinent is defined as just being a large section of a real continent. But Europe is really just a subcontinent of Eurasia. The reason for Europe's continental status is due to culture and politics, and not geography. We've already violated our definition of Continent - I call shenanigans.

If Europe is a continent due to culture and politics, then India surely qualifies as its own continent. Not only is India the home to several extremely populous religions and a distinct culture which has been able to absorb every major attempt by external forces to change it, it also has more in the way of geography. For one thing, it sits on top of the Indian Plate. Secondly, it's better than Antarctica.

If you agree with me on India's status as a continent, then please sign my petition, or write your senator.


Jim Wynne said...

What if we made India a planet, especially since Pluto just got kicked out of the club?

Bobby said...

It depends on whether or not they would be willing to follow the naming convention of our Solar System. But I'm all for it! I'd love to be an interplanetary traveler. Would Pakistan be considered a satellite of India?