Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Cool Beans!

Did you know that vanilla comes from a bean? It's true!

That means that a serving of vanilla ice cream now counts as eating a vegetable.

It also means that I will now stop eating vanilla-flavored products. Death to veggies!

Chocolate also comes from a bean, the cocoa bean, which comes from a tree, the cocoa tree. It grows in a city, cocoa city. So chocolate is also now officially classified as being disgusting as well. Is nothing sacred?

What does this mean for you, the consumer?

Expect stocks for candy companies to plummet. Nobody likes vegetable-flavored candy.

It also means that eating healthy can be fun - be sure to look for Lean Cuisine vanilla milkshakes, available in stores this Winter.

Want to try a different way to eat those sweet beans? Try refried cocoa beans, with a side of vanilla extract - delicious!

The cocoa tree originated in South America, and came up through Central America, along with cocaine, dictyoglomus hermophilum, and Jorge Luis Borges.

Now that you have all of this great information, feel free to stop referring to people of different races as Vanilla and Chocolate, and you can instead consider ourselves all part of the Plant Kingdom.


Aaron said...

If I dare see you eating any chocolate or vanilla items in my presence, I am going to rat you out and you will lose all credibility with your reader.

Bobby said...

I wouldn't think of it! I am a man of my word.

Plus, I can't afford to lose my one reader! Thanks for watching my back on this one.

s.j.simon said...

lol. did you know that chocolate was banned in switzerland for many years. read this