Thursday, February 07, 2008


When a woman is pregnant she goes through an instinctive period called the "nesting period." While nesting, the woman runs around like a frenzied animal trying to get the house ready for the baby. Anything that stands in the woman's way will be crushed to death.

But somehow all of the woman's nesting actually translates into physical labor for the man, which in this case is yours truly. Although my To Do List is getting longer every day, I've given up procrastinating for Lent, so my To Do List is now down to only 43,129 tasks. I should have that done by next century.

Thankfully I've been able to outsource most of the work to my father-in-law, who works as tirelessly as an illegal immigrant.

I thought I could help to alleviate my wife's nesting instincts, as well as saving my father-in-law a lot of time and energy, by hauling in a bunch of straw and twigs and dumping them around the baby's room, like a giant nest. This only made my wife angry for some reason, and then added several items - mostly dealing with cleaning products - to my To Do List.

At this point I knew I needed professional help, so I called in Stanley Steemer.

Let's just say that it was way past time to call in the Pros. The previous owners of our house had dogs and cats, and judging from several bite marks on the base boards, a marmot. Sure, we've vacuumed, swept and mopped, but we've never really been able to get our house looking and feeling as clean as a whistle.

After Stanley Steemer came and went, the carpets look the same but are damper than usual, but we also got the tiles cleaned, and wow do they look different!

Apparently the previous owners of our house put down some sort of wax sealer to protect the tiles in the kitchen. By doing so, dirt and mud got trapped in the wax, and no amount of mopping, sweeping or Swiffering could clean the tiles. I always just thought the tiles had a pattern of black swirls, or maybe were even black tiles with speckles of white, but lo and behold, our tiles are a brilliant shade of white! Who knew?! Thanks, Stanley Steemer!

I guess all of my helping around the house finally paid off. Not only did I help to clean the floors of our house so our baby wouldn't have to crawl around in leftover marmot hair, but we've also been able to steam away a layer of filth from our kitchen floor.

Scratch that item off my list! Only 43,128 to go!

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