Sunday, May 25, 2008

Celebrating Memorial Day, Tantrum-style

Monday is Memorial Day, and that means that once again I'll be cruising the streets of Baton Rouge, looking for protesters to beat up. I'm not targeting anti-war protesters, because as far as I'm concerned they're right on track. Plus, I'm all about people exercising their Freedom of Speech.

But every once in a while you'll find people who are so vehemently against the war that they end up protesting the military personnel. And that I will not tolerate.

Hulk smash!

Take these idiots from the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, for example. This church group shows its love for God by protesting military funerals, saying that God is punishing America (via terrorist attacks, hurricanes, tornadoes, Dancing with the Stars, etc) for tolerating homosexuals.

On the one hand, I know that I won't see anyone this crazy in Baton Rouge, because in general, Baton Rougeans are pretty cool. But on the other hand, I really hope that I see someone like this in Baton Rouge so I can beat the ever-loving shit out of them.

It's not enough that we have the Respect for America's Fallen Heroes Act. The Law can only do so much. And if people aren't smart enough to realize that the people serving in our military don't necessarily determine our foreign policy, then they deserve a good beating.

It would be great if the anti-military protesters will have colorful signs to easily identify themselves, so I don't have to waste too much time looking for them. And hopefully their protest signs will be sturdy enough to be shoved up their asses in one piece. Also, I hope these protesters are passionate enough to protest all day long, otherwise I might miss them due to getting out to a late start, it being a holiday and all that.

I have a lot of pent-up frustration to get out of my system, and beating someone up this Memorial Day seems like a good way to relieve some stress. If only David Archuleta would have won American Idol, maybe things would have been different.

No comments: