Wednesday, July 09, 2008

A Shot of Love

Going to the doctor's office is always exciting in its own way. But today I got a little something extra that wasn't included in my insurance premium: I got hit on by the nurse.

Now I know what you're thinking: "A hot nurse that likes short, dumpy, married, nerdy, sick patients... Yahtzee!"

Well, not exactly.

I explained all of my symptoms to my doctor: sore throat, congestion, road rage, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and a nagging cough. He thought about it for a moment and said, matter of factly, "Sinus infection."

Damn you, sinuses! It's always you!

So he sent in the nurse to give me a shot. The nurse was a large, black, fat lady - just the kind I like. And the first words out of her mouth were, "Drop'm, Sweetheart."

Excuse me?

"Drop'm. I gotta give you a shot in the hip."

Apparently the nurse wanted me to take my pants off completely in order to give me a shot in the hip. Hey, I work in the health care field, and I know what this means.

I started to smooth the white paper on the little padded table and gently laid back, making sweet eyes at the nurse. She must have thought my groans were "sick groans" instead of "love groans," so I undid the top of my belt and slapped it against my belly a few times.

Hmm... maybe this is why Betty goes to bed 3 hours before I do?

Anyway, the nurse turned around at the sound of my belt-slapping, did a double-take, and said, "Or we could do it in the arm."

Oh yeah. I want to do it in the arm. I've been a sick little patient. Ooh yeah, stick that needle right... OUCH!

Long story short, I now have a prescription for Ceftin and a restraining order. Anybody know a good doctor?


Crazy Karl said...

I must say that since finding your site, Christie and I have been laughing endlessly at your postings. It's got to be the best blog that I've been to (I've been to 2, by the way). Sounds like the Griswolds had another fun family vacation. Take care!

Bobby said...

You know it! There's so much more to write about but every time I try, something else comes up.

Thanks for the comment! Glad to hear the Tantrum is in your top 50%!