Monday, August 22, 2011

Out of Ideas

I'm completely out of ideas for the blog. Well, not completely, but all of my other blog ideas are just really lame.

For instance, I had an idea for a blog about writing poetry in SQL, which is a database programming language. A normal SQL statement might look something like this:

Select Field1, Count(1) as Total
From MyTable
Where MyCondition = True
and OtherCondition <> 'A'
Group By Field1
Having Field2 > 10

My poetry idea was to write something like:

Select all your thoughts
From your favorite memory
Where you are not at fault
And we're all in revelry
Group them by the date and time
And sort them last to first,
where we're
Having such a dandy time
That our hearts just might burst

Now aren't you thankful that I spared you from that? I could be writing nothing but that kind of garbage here. But instead, I ask you - no, I plead with you - to give me some ideas to write about. It could be anything. It could be something like:

"Hey Bob, write about your most embarrassing memory."

To which I would reply, "What, you aren't embarrassed for me yet?!? How long have you been a reader?! WHAT MORE DO I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE YOU LAUGH???"

Or you could say, "Hey Bob, remember that time when... {insert the remainder of your sentence here}" and I'll say, "Probably not. But let me make something up and write about it! By the way, in this story, you having a dream about being at lunch at school with no pants - believe me, you'll think it's funny after you read it. Are you OK with that?"

Or even, "How can I get some of those sexy purple and gold golf pants that you wear in your profile picture on the blog?" to which I'd have to tell you to go shopping on LSU's campus or search online. I mean, really, it's not hard to find that kind of stuff online nowadays.

You don't have to be a long time reader of the blog to post a suggestion. You can post anonymously. Or you can email me, snail me, call me, text me, sext me (it's worth a try, right?), Facebook me, Tweet me (although I never check that account), Google Plus me (although I never check that account), etc.

Thank you in advance for all of your wonderful blog ideas and/or text messages of your naked body parts.


Midgetturtle said...

Hey Bob, tell us about the special kind of torture your parents exacted when you came home inebriated. Then tell us how you plan to punish the transgressions of your little angels when they come in at 2:30 smelling like booze :D

Bobby said...


Thank you so much for the comment! Feel free to suggest another blog idea.