In my previous blog post I wrote about how I've started the Couch to 5K running program back up, how my knees hurt like a mutha, and how Betty called me out for being a wuss by showing me an article of a 39 week pregnant woman who ran a marathon in 6 hours and then gave birth that night.
That article didn't help my self-esteem - and it didn't help my knees, either. I've read that I might have "Runner's Knee" in which my patellas are scraping up against cartilage (layman's terms for "joint goo") and that's why my knees hurt. Although I could possibly have what's called Wussitis, which is where your body turns into a giant heap of hair and blubber over a matter of years, starting with your knees. (I'm halfway there already.)
I've also had it pointed out to me that my gut is as big as a 39 week pregnant woman's, so it's OK that I could barely run a mile while she ran a marathon because she didn't have Runner's Knee. Science!
Now, to make matters worse, today I read that a 100 year-old man ran a marathon. It took him only 8 hours, which is 18 hours less than it would have taken me, and I'm only 31.
Well, let's be honest, with my Runner's Knee it might have taken me 20 hours longer.
I am now less manly than a 39 week pregnant woman and a 100 year old man. And I still can't run a mile without my knees creaking in agony.
Is there a Couch to 5K Wii game or something that I could be playing instead?