Tuesday, February 19, 2013


I really like the song Payphone by Maroon 5. But as much as I like it, there are a few fundamental flaws that I just can't get past.

Let's take the chorus, which goes, "I'm on a payphone trying to call home, all of my change I've spent on you."

For starters, I don't believe that Adam Levine (lead singer of Maroon 5), nor anyone else for that matter, would be on a payphone trying to call anyone at any time. My reasoning is simple: Nobody uses payphones anymore, because no phone companies are producing payphones anymore. Even the payphones outside of the old Piccadilly in Lafayette are gone. You know it's bad for payphones when the best place for single seniors to meet at 4:30 pm (Early Bird special!) no longer has payphones available.

As for using all of his change on a payphone, well, that's crazy talk. Nobody carries change around. (Except my wife - she has exact change for everything.)

But let's say, for the sake of argument, that Adam Levine did find a payphone, had to use it for some reason - such as his cellphone died because he was playing Angry Bird Star Wars or Fruit Ninja and his battery died - and then he did use all of his change on a payphone. Why not call Collect? Problem solved. You'd think the singer of a very famous band would know all of this.

Next, let's talk about him calling home. Instead of phoning home, why not call his lady-friend's cell phone? He could have been repeatedly calling home, only to find that his girl was out for Lady's Night. Using all of his change to call a single number seems like a bad plan. He could have also called another friend, his agent or even his mom.

For nostalgic purposes, I'll allow for this song to take place in Adam Levine's distant past when cellphones were not ubiquitous. And despite this song hitting the wall against 21st century technology, I still really like it.

I can't wait to hear the rest of Maroon 5's album, which probably has songs about beepers and rotary phones!

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