Saturday, July 20, 2013

Back Breaker

Betty hurt her back this past week. She can barely walk, can't sit for any length of time, and it's difficult for her to get comfortable when she lays down.

There are two stories of how she hurt her back: hers and mine. Hers is the truth, but mine is more entertaining... for now at least, until she reads this and beats the everlovin' crap out of me despite the fact that she can barely move.

Betty's version of how she hurt her back: She was leaning over to pick up our son Peter when she heard a loud pop, and then she had intense pain in her back.

My version: She had powerful visions of me in my Speedos, and arched her back so far that she pulled a muscle and possibly suffered a herniated disc, but it was so totally worth it.

Well, we know that my version is a lie because I can't fit into my Speedos anymore. Actually, that's not completely true - some of me can fit into my Speedos, but most of me just flops out of it.

Betty's mom came and stayed for several nights. Thank God! She helped with everything. I don't know what I would have done had she not come over. Probably duct tape the kids to the wall or something. I'm joking, of course! Duct tape wouldn't hold them.

Seriously, does anyone know what is stronger than duct tape?

If you have mad babysitting skillz that you want to put to the test, I will take you up on them. Just be warned - since I have been in charge, my kids have been watching a lot of Ninja Turtles on YouTube and Ninjago on NetFlix, so they're kind of experts at martial arts right now. Also, it's been raining every day and/or is too hot to go outside, so they're just about ready to explode from being inside all day for a week straight.

Actually, Betty will probably start feeling better after she gets those back muscles working while she's pummeling me for writing this, so we'll probably be OK. Then she'll be back in action!

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