Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Riley Cooper was excused from practice on Friday in order to seek counseling after attending a Kenny Chesney concert, where he was videoed saying saying he would fight every "N word" at the concert.
"I have decided to take time away from football," cited sources familiar with the team, "and determine why, deep inside, I wanted to go to a Kenny Chesney concert in the first place."
Deploring his actions as hurtful, shameful and just plain wrong, Cooper acknowledged that there are much better acts to attend than a Kenny Chesney concert in the greater Philadelphia area.
While some teammates, such as Michael Vick, have forgiven Cooper, others are less willing to forgive. Star running back LeSean McCoy was quoted as saying, "Even though I have a last name of McCoy, which would indicate some sort of Scottish background, I'm obviously African-American and therefore do not comprehend country music of any sort. Although I'll admit that my eyes tend to linger on Faith Hill's Sunday Night Football intros."
When told that Carrie Underwood would be replacing Faith Hill on Sunday Night Football, McCoy responded by throwing his helmet on the ground and tackling the reporter.
Asked about his decision to threaten every N word at the concert, Cooper said he was joking, since no African-Americans were known to have attended the Kenny Chesney concert (since it's Kenny Chesney and most African-Americans don't listen to him or any country music at all) and therefore there would be nobody to fight.
"The only black guy I know that likes country music is that guy from Hootie and the Blowfish," Cooper said. "But you know what? F$&@ that N word, his version of Wagon Wheel sucks."
As of press time, there is no word on if Eagles head coach Chip Kelly has added any Kenny Chesney music to his playlist of music that he blasts during minicamp.