Friday, September 13, 2013

My Broken Pole

My pole is broken due to being blown too hard.

It all happened during a bad thunderstorm. We noticed that the patio umbrella was unfurled just as it started to rain. I told Betty that I should go out and furl it. "I shall furl!" I announced, but it was too late - the storm was already too furious.

At our old house, we had forgotten to furl our umbrella before a bad storm once, and the wind had picked it up and tossed it over our fence and into the street. I just happened to notice it while backing out of the driveway to go to work. Ever since then, I've made sure to tighten it within the umbrella stand.

I like the pole to be tight in the stand. Especially when a storm's a'brewin'. Otherwise the pole flops around, and nobody likes a floppy pole.

Sadly, the storm was too much this time around. The wind blew too hard, and although our stand kept the pole firmly in its grip, the pole bent until it finally snapped.

The moral of the story is that it's not the size of your pole... it's how you furl it.

Knowing is half the battle.

Monday, September 02, 2013


I've created new words to add to our "back seat driving" lexicon.

The first word is Nagigator. It means "one who nags while navigating." This is different than someone who simply nags you while you're driving them around, as a nagigator is a person that is in the act of helping you get where you want to go - although he or she could allegedly do it much better, faster and safer.

A related word is Nagigation. This is the act of nagging while navigating.

To be fair, I wasn't the first person to write out "Nagigator." Someone sent me an email and tried to type out "navigator" but instead wrote "nagigator," and I told him that I had stolen his typo. Then I replied to the aforementioned email with gibberish, random misspellings and unfinished thoughts, in the hope of helping that person come up with an idea for their very own new word.

While you may think that I can't just go around inventing new words whenever I want, I beg to differ - and will call you a back seat wordsmith until I can think up something more clever. But most people don't know the meanings or origins of very famous words. Who does, unless you're a cunning linguist?

You can check out Merriam-Webster's Top 10 Words of Summer, which shows the origin of some summery words. Maybe soon they'll refer to this blog post when they write about how Nagigators are taking over America.