Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Thanksgiving Rap

The last few months have been difficult for us, so I wanted to do something to make us laugh.  I remembered Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving Song, and thought of how there are not enough songs about Thanksgiving.

I decided to do a rap.  It's really about food, but... you may not want your kids reading this.  Also, I apologize for offending everyone in advance. Enjoy!

Thanksgiving Rap

It's Thanksgiving time and I want to rap
About turkey, and stuffing, and all that other crap
'Cause the reason for the season is to give thanks for our feast and
Get my turkey breast and thigh, gobble gobble yo I'm feeling
Like I got some extra stuffin' want to put it up yo bird
Gonna drip my gravy sauce on yo mashed potatoes, word
Grab my cranberries and salad, grab my two crescent rolls too
Got an extra piece of white meat, thought of giving it to you

Yeah that turkey is so juicy from my own Cajun Injection
I used rubber gloves when basting 'cause I always use protection
Can't afford to let it burn and so I always need a taster
But it always turns out great because I'm the Master Baster
When the turkey is all cooked I need help to lift it, hoist
Move it to the stove top, take a bite, and yes that turkey's moist
Then I stick in my electric knife and carve it up to serve
Everybody want the white meat cause it's got them sexy curves

Flavor bursts all in your mouth, dribble dribbles from your chin
Open wide because I'm forking one more piece of turkey in
Think you got a little gravy on your cheek and in your hair
Try to eat it nice and slow, 'cause there's plenty more to share
Think I need a second helping 'cause I ate that food too fast
Wanna eat it nice and slow so my second helping lasts
Gotta save room for dessert, made a special nice ice cream
When you taste my homemade foodstuffs gonna make you up and scream

Wanna taste those sweet potatoes, maybe munch all on a muffin
Think you need to try to handle some of my own cornbread stuffing
'Cause it's piping hot and ready, gonna melt right in your mouth
You need to blow on it to cool it or you gonna start to shout
Now I know this is a rap and not a dance and not a ballad
But I really want a taste and wanna toss your ol' fruit salad
'Cause there's cherries and some melons that are all mixed up in there
Think it goes nice with that plump and perky turkey derriere

Don't forget the green bean casserole, I made it all from scratch
But it won't be long before I up and make another batch
Got your favorite carrot souffle, though it starts off really soft
As it cools it starts to harden into something like a rock
So you better eat it now and you better eat it quick
Cause I'm lighting up a candle setting fire to the wick
For it's time to celebrate Thanksgiving, now I end my rhyme
So let's pray, let's eat, let's bless the cooks, gobble gobble it's turkey time!